You all know how big of a problem bullying has become. Bullying on campuses across America has changed drastically since I was in high school. It was a problem then, but nothing like it is now. Teen suicides and school shootings seem to have become a regular occurrence. Did you know that 160,000 students skip school every day in order to avoid being bullied and 6 out of 10 students report that they witness bullying of some kind every day. Bullying is not limited to school hours; these days cyber bullying (bullying on the Internet) is just as big of an issue, if not bigger.
How can students learn anything in this kind of environment?!
Of course we all know that it is extremely difficult for any student to focus on the subjects that they are supposed to be learning when they are worried about being bullied and made fun of.
I felt this way when I was younger, when I was growing up in school I really struggled with reading. And every time I read out loud in class I stuttered and stumbled my way through it and other kids in class would make fun of me and laugh at me and call me stupid just because I struggled. Eventually I got to the point where I refused to read out loud in class, and for a while stopped reading all together, because I was worried about being made fun of.
We all agree that bullying is a huge problem and a lot has been done to stop it, but I hear over and over again from educators like you that "we have an anti bullying program in place but the problem keeps happening." or "We focus on bullying all the time but it keeps happening."
The problem with most ANTI-bulling programs is that they focus on bullying and not the real issues behind bullying. The real issue is that students are bullying other students because they do not feel good about themselves so they put others down to make themselves feel better. The real issue is that they do not understand their true value and true potential and they don't realize how important and valuable they actually are so they put others down to seem like they are more important or strong or powerful. That is what is really going on and just telling kids not to bully others or having stricter rules or policies or more supervision is not going to change anything without focusing on the real issues behind bullying and helping them change their attitudes about themselves and about others around them. Winston Churchill once said: "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
Another problem with most anti bullying programs is that they focus on the behavior they don't want rather than the behavior they do want. We get whatever it is that we focus on. When we focus on bullying even though we are trying to stop bullying many times the result is more bullying problems. What we need to focus on is treating others with more kindness and respect and treating others the way that we want to be treated. We really shouldn't be ANTI-bullying we should actually be PRO-kindness and PRO-respect. Mother Teresa once said: "I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there." She understood that focusing on what you don't want would only result in more of what you don't want. We need to focus on the behaviors we do want which are kindness, respect and following the golden rule, rather than focusing on what we don't want.
The last point I wanted to touch on is that we cannot control anyone other than ourselves. Sometimes I wish we could because it would be a lot easier, but we can't. All we can do is to help our students change themselves. That is why stricter rules, stricter policies or even more supervision simply do not work. They can be short-term band-aids but they do not give long-term results because they do not address the real issues. All that we can do is teach them correct principles and let them govern themselves. The only thing we can do is to help students understand their true value and true potential and help them believe in themselves and have confidence in the people they are and help them realize that they don't need to put others down to make themselves feel important because they already are important just they way they are.
Thank you for reading my article I hope it helps you as a parent, educator or other interested party. Please visit my site http://www.jakespeaks.com. As I thank you for visiting my site I am giving you my new "Guide To End Bullying" and 3 new songs 100% FREE!
Thanks,
Jake Ballentine
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